Caricatures Ireland » watchmen

Watchmen- Don’t Bother.

Allan — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 14:31:40 +0000

You would think that with 3 hours of screentime Watchmen would render some sense of sweeping narrative. Unfortunately while you do feel every minute go by, Watchmen is about as sweeping as a vacuum cleaner.
There was no mystery or tension. It was like seeing a collection of Old Masters out of their frames and hung by thumbtacks- they largely look the same but there is an obvious warping at the edges, and the original nuanced expressions have been pulled into rictus grins in every one. Director Zack Snyder has failed to grasp that the background characters are as important as the principals, and has excised them completely. The human scale is therefore missing, a vital ingredient of the original: this is the device that allows the tension to build throughout the book, pivotally in the newstand scenes between the two Bernies.
Dr. Manhattan serves as little more than exposition writ thirty feet tall. He has this amazing new power where he can stick his fingers in your head and make you remember shocking details from your past. Quick and convenient for helping Laurie have her Luke Skywalker moment, and in case she didn’t get it, and assuming the audience didn’t either, he tells her as well.
Snyder also eschews the mystery story completely in favour of ridiculous set pieces that allow Nite Owl and Silk Spectre to beat the shit out of people. In the book, Moore carefully dangles the reader morsels of the plot against the masks, and we get the sense of something huge brewing, something other than the dreadful mounting of Cold War tension that fuels the fear of the ordinary mortals. The only tension in the film is the clenching of Daniel’s buttocks as they work him up to a simultaneous fake orgasm with Laurie. Really, did we need to see such a close up of his arse? And obviously Nite Owl packed everything but the emergency prophyaltic.
The CGI is shockingly bad, and you’d wonder why they bothered with Bubastis at all. I’ll always forgive ropey special effects if there’s been an investment in story and character, but clearly here any such investment has been of the Bernie Maddock variety. Action sequences indulge in pointless slow motion, at one point almost becoming an action shampoo ad. All that was missing was an exploding bottle of Timotei.
And, they changed the ending. It now makes no sense. At all.
Save yourself the price of admission and buy the book instead. If you’ve got it already, send the money to Alan Moore’s local and ask them to put up a few pints for him behind the bar.

Watchmen Review

Allan — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:59:16 +0000

UPDATE: I have my own review posted here.
Rick has a safe review up that has NO SPOILERS! Apart from that, I’m avoiding all mention of it until I see it next week.
Of course I could just teleport to the premiere…

Remember this? NBS Nightly News with Ted Philips, March 11th 1970

Allan — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:23:35 +0000

Via I Watch Stuff.

Not looking forward to the Watchmen movie then?

Allan — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:32:30 +0000

Found here.

Who Watches the (little details in) Watchmen?

Allan — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:34:53 +0000

I just saw the new hardcover edition of Watchmen on Forbidden Planet and commented that I didn’t think much of the artwork: the expression on ~~Sally’s~~ Laurie’s face, nippleless Jon, assymetrical Rorschach and Veidt with a mullet. Then I looked again and noticed something:

WHERE’S THE COMEDIAN’S SMILEY BADGE???

It’s only the most important motif of the book!
Was this artwork a rush job? It is apparently a new cover by Gibbons, but I wonder if he did the pencils and then passed it on for inking. How could Gibbons forget the smiley?

“Tonight Matthew I’m going to be Jon Osterman”

Allan — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 16:52:32 +0000

I went to town as Dr. Manhattan last night. Only one person actually said, “oh, there’s Dr. Manhattan”. I thought loads of people would have got it at this stage with the movie coming out next year. One girl on the street said “oh, wait, you’re that guy from the Watch thingy”. Other guesses were The Mask, Stargate(!) and The Grinch (I don’t even know where to start with that one).
I was going to go naked and paint myself from top to toe in blue, but the excessive shaving needed put me off so I decided I’d wear the suit in the end. I ended up sitting beside the only Smurfette in Neachtains too. Oh the blue irony. I saw 3 Jesuses (is that the plural of Jesus?) and a very attractive glass of Guinness, but no other Watchmen.

I’d have loved to get contacts to go with it. Maybe next year. Although maybe next year I’ll be Rorchach.

Watchmen Trailer

Allan — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:58:25 +0000

I, like many others, was very wary of the film version of the Watchmen, especially given Alan Moore’s own feelings on the subject, and the bastardised version of V for Vendetta (a dystopian London where everyone has a widescreen television).
When the costume pics came out, I grudgingly acknowledged they were pretty good but still was resolved not to go and see it.
And then the teaser trailer came out last week.

I’m obsessed. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it at this stage. The film might turn out to be poop but I’m getting more and more comfortable with the idea they might actually do the source material justice.
Of course if Alan Moore leaves a comment here I won’t go near it in a fit.