The Rings of Power was entertaining enough in the first series (not good, but entertaining), but the second series was a boring slog of inconsistencies and nonsense. The production values are wonderful as are many of the performances but it really felt like a grander plan was severely curtailed at the last minute and they had to hack it back without any time to make sure it made any sense.
I’m getting to the Grand Elf part.
It is just all over the place narratively: there are about 7 different plots that could be forgotten about from one week to the next and even the recaps failed to stimulate the memory. The absolute nadir was the final episode. Storylines are abandoned to get the episode ended: in Khazad-dûm the Balrog awakens and there’s this awesome slow-mo shot of Durin the elder leaping at the Balrog, sacrificing himself in a moment of noble clarity and then… the Balrog just goes away again?
Wait there’s more:
Chewbacca gets that bread
You Don’t See-ThreePio
Only Who Could be So Bold?
Meow Trek Picard
Transformers: The Cab
Hellraiser: The Box.
An Awkward Thanos Moment
The Numenor plot about who gets to be king or queen is resolved when someone runs in with a piece of parchment we never see but assume says SAURON in big crayon writing and suddenly Míriel is deposed again? The big set piece fight between Galadriel and Sauron was like a couple of 80-year-olds scrapping in the pension queue, puffing for breath every second sword swing, presented in mostly mid-shots and rapid edits, a technically terrible way to show a one to one fight! Swords make that vibrating unsheathing sound by just sitting there because… it’s cool? The whole episode felt like no-one was in charge and everyone was looking forward to getting home in the knowledge this might not be back for a third series.
Here it is.
The cringiest scene surely came in the moment depicted in the cartoon above of the halfings or harfoots or whatever they’re called shoe-horning this terrible attempt at a homophone as they pass the Stranger and say, repeatedly, REPEATEDLY, “thanks Grand Elf.”
Again, I have to praise the visuals and many of the performances, as well as the score by Bear McCreary, but that simply cannot make up for the rudderless ship this whole series was. Sorry Jeff Bezos ya big Sauron wannabe. Expect Rings of Power to become like all those returned Amazon items: a massive amount of waste quietly dumped in the middle of nowhere when no-one is looking.
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I’m Allan Cavanagh and I have been professionally producing caricatures and cartoon art for over 20 years.
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